The large body of a man fell hard against me. Up to now the bodies had just been moving past, but this one felt here to stay. It was full, as if it carried every emotion in the room within it. My first instinct was to drop to my knees and crawl out, just get out, move, run, really to hide, but I was frozen in my spot. I felt the man expand behind me and I was reminded of a giant bird of prey, as if he might have great big wings. I climbed upon the cloud of fear rising below me, sure that any moment now, claws would be sinking themselves through my skin, into my soul, tearing me away from the ground I stood on, and whisking me to where escape was impossible. I’d never felt a presence so overpowering. I wanted to look, but didn’t dare turn around. 

At once the room filled with the sweet smell of freshly baked bread. A bread I knew I loved, but couldn’t remember where or when I’d eaten it. Later, I would tell you that I felt him, long before I smelled or heard him. I felt him in the way you become aware of a tooth once you have a toothache, as if maybe he’d always been there. 

Then, he spoke. A whisper so clear, I heard it as if it were just the two of us, in a quiet room, with only my breath disrupting the silence. His voice swept around me and crept inside, settling in. It felt as if he were talking in my head. I was sure I knew him, but couldn’t understand why. 

“Do you remember?” he whispered, and though I knew this was meant for me, I had no idea to what he was referring. I wanted to open my eyes and turn around, but fear grabbed my intestines and pushed my lips shut. Not fear of who he was, but that if I looked, he would disappear. 

“Think,” he said. “It’s important.” 

The word: ‘think’ in-and-of-itself meant nothing, but I tried anyway. I thought, back to Maryland and Glen's house that repelled dirt. The perfect family, the perfect life, no sick people, or dead people. Why did I have to leave all that for this?  Here, in Detroit, nothing was right--

“Not right, but perfect,” He whispered into my head. “You believe this is perfect.”

Was that a clue? The answer to my thoughts? I wanted to scream ‘I don’t! I don’t think it’s anything close to perfect. In fact, it sucks!’ Still no sound came out of my mouth. I could feel the crowd around me. It had gone from a pulse to a frenzy. All the while I was frozen; engulfed by the feeling of this man standing behind me. 

“Say you know. You know that everything you touch, everything you love must die.” His whisper had turned into a hiss, waking my synapses to every bead of sweat rolling down the skin under my shirt. I figured the only option I had, was to face him.